Blogging Cuz I Want To & I Feel Like It
Let's try something new, shall we? This is the kind of diary I've been wanting to make for a while— the casual and comfortable sort, easy to write in from both a personal and technical perspective. Visually it's near identical to the previous edition but, behind the scenes, it's all markdown! Very convenient! And my ethos with this diary goes as follows...
- DON'T OVERTHINK IT.
I can't say exactly when or why I started to feel like this, but these days I'm a little self-conscious about my writing. Maybe because I know people are reading (hi, reader! │). Maybe because I'm out of practice... By now, I haven't journalled consistently in at least two years, and I fell out of my pen-and-paper habit, too. So I find myself puzzling over what to say, how to say it, how to order my ideas, as if I'm writing some Big Important Essay that's going to change somebody's life. But, by all accounts, the mundane, day-to-day blogging I used to do has been just as impactful and interesting.
I think the reader I'm most desperate to please is actually just myself, hahaha. Like, to be completely real, writing is my #1 passion. It's in my soul. When I don't write, I feel weird and bad, like if you told a fish to stop swimming. But if that fish somehow got a complex about the best way to move her fins and the kinds of bubbles she makes going glub glub glub all day, maybe not swimming seems like it'd feel better after all?
I dunno where I'm going with this. Instead of labouring over my rambles and bizarre metaphors until they are sensical and presentable, I'mma just keep it moving. I want to write just to write. The fun, ease, and clarity I felt with older journals will come. I think as soon as I stop writing about writing, and start writing about my life again, it'll get much easier, too...
Hey, why don't I just skip straight to that? LOL!
Right now I'm looping my favourite Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood AMV, Crucible of Souls by Shin and Xophi, on my second monitor. It's so fucking good, it's actually hard to focus on what I'm writing. All I want is to watch my favourite characters suffer and triumph on repeat. Don't watch it if you haven't seen the whole show (that means you, ... I'm going to show it to you later!!!)
The best parts of the AMV are every part that include Roy and Pride, but I especially love Mustang's look of total despair at around 1:05. Delicious!!!! All throughout season 4, and I couldn't stop cheering at his trauma. I also just really like this Of Monsters and Men song. That album was all the rage when I was a youngin' on 8Tracks.... Ahhh, 2015 Tumblr girls had the best music.
And speaking of some of those people I spend my time with...
- Myself and my loved ones are my primary audience.
Back in the day, I didn't understand the audience I had. Assuming I was alone in my little corner of the Internet, I just did whatever I felt like doing whenever I felt like doing it. While I enjoy interacting with you all now, and I take great pride in what I do for my community, I miss being candid and casual. Reminding myself that, before anybody else, my blog is for me ties right back into "DON'T OVERTHINK IT." I guess this is just an elaboration on that idea.
Anyways, got me back into Final Fantasy XIV and I'm so fucking obsessed. Probably dreamt about it every night this week. I've been in love with the series since my brother let me watch him play FFV. Hate that guy but I'll never complain about his influence on my taste in media. I was six- or seven-years-old and we were on vacation somewhere I can't recall. What must have been a tiny condo feels giant in my memories, like the ceiling was a world away.
My parents slept in the loft while Brother Flonne and I shared the bed downstairs. I guess he was already used to staying up past his bedtime, so he insisted on playing his Gameboy SP until he was tired. That was the same vacation when he let me play the slots in Pokemon Emerald as much as I wanted because I kept getting triple 7s. I've always been lucky and video game gambling is no exception. Years later he'd be calling upon my blessing for his fucking Nikke pulls, lmfao.
The important thing is that I LOVEEEEE FINAL FANTASY! I've been captivated since that very first moment. Sadly, the games were too hard for me to complete as a kid, but that didn't stop me from picking them all up, one after another. For the longest, VI was my favourite because I fell instantly in love with Terra. I have a vivid memory of one rainy morning before 6th grade, when I had just enough time between getting dressed and eating breakfast to listen to the piano cover of her theme on my mom's laptop.
I loved that DS remake of III, too. I'd open the game just to watch the opening cutscene and then turn it off again LMAO. Luneth (silver ponytail warrior) and Ignus (red mage blondie) are PEAK FUCKING YAOI don't even talk to me. I didn't play enough of the game to really get into their relationship arc (assuming it exists), but the 3 minute movie kinda says it all. They reminded me so much of Naruto and Sasuke... I simply could not contain myself. III was never very popular but I was not alone in shipping them. There was one Ignis/Luneth fanfic I read over and over, to the point where I was writing it out in my notebook at school. Not gonna go through all of these to figure out which one it was, but the happy memory lives on.
III's main theme, "Memory of the Wind," was one of my favourites to play in Theatrhythm. My party was like... level 100 Terra, Onion Knight, Sephiroth, and Cloud, I believe, despite never playing VII. I know I definitely watched the movie a few times, but that's about it. You don't need context to adore Sephiroth's theme or find Aerith cute!!! All these ponytailed female protagonists reminded me of my one true love, Krile... Every time I played V, it was for her and her alone. I'm very excited to meet her again in XIV!!!
My favourite favourite favourite song to play was "To Zanarkand," based purely on vibes alone. Imagine my absolute delight when I finally picked up X last summer and THERE IT WAS!!! Sadly I was filtered by Blitzball (I had already ragequit by the time told me it doesn't matter if you lose) but I do want to try again soon. X-2 calls for me... And Yuna is so awesome. I can't look at her without seeing .
Ahh, watching that Theatrhythm gameplay footage made me feel so nostalgic... I think that game (along with Fantasy Life) was my best 3DS purchase ever. Despite the hundreds of hours I poured into it, I honestly can't remember a single moment where I felt frustrated, disappointed, or bored. Looking back, it was my introduction to rhythm games, too, which for a long time was my favourite genre! I only played the first in the series but maybe I'll check out the sequels sometime. A while back I gave my 3DS to , so maybe I'll invest in one of those third-party, emulation-based consoles going forward.
By the time Bravely Default came out, I was old enough to actually complete RPGs. It ruled! Edea was my favourite...!!! So so so cute hehehe. I'd love to check out the sequel sometime. I really want to play Tactics, too, because Ovelia and Agrias seem right up my alley. In general I want to get to know Agrias, ughhh she's so my type. I'm not sure how well I'll do at that kind of gameplay though— classic turn-based FF feels best to me, and I sucked ass at Fire Emblem. Ah, well, if I can learn XIV mechanics I can do anything!!! Can't I?
Every day I'm having a blast playing together with . We've been making tons of OCs and we get so giddy coming up with their stories. At first I really wasn't looking for a new husbando at all, but uhhh it seems Haurchefant has stolen my heart. (DON'T SAY ANYTHING. DON'T SAY A SINGLE THING. I DIDN'T PLAY THAT PART YET BUT I KNOW.) The OC I'm making to pair with him is so cute and interesting on a meta level, I can't wait to share their story on my website somewhere. In general, I want to put out more content about my Canon x OC yooms, not just Sans and Goki! It's going to take a while, but I think if I just let myself rant about whatever's on my mind in my new blog like this, then I can always convert the entries into proper shrines, later.
Well, we'll see!!!!! Right now I'm hungry. I'm gonna make pasta. Byeeeeeeeeeeee.
To Do:
- Add a heading to the main blog post list page idk
Credit to the guy who build this PHP blog widget thing- Speaking of him, I need to ask for his help with pagination— navigating between adjacent entries
Make these bulleted lists cuter- Fix the PHP errors grahhhh