Take a peek into my daily life, in which all is well and getting better all the time.
┳ WARNING! ┳ This entry contains references to fictional sex and abuse. — — — Yesterday I reread The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison. She, Maya Angelou, and Lionel Shriver are my top three favourite authors of all time. I'd add Alice Walker to list if I wasn't a fake fan who only read bits and pieces of her work. I'll read more from all of them, and plenty of other things while I'm at it!!! Thank God for the Z-Library.
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We met up on a whim. Circumstances beyond our control just clicked into place, and before we knew it we were in each other's arms. In the days leading up to our meeting, all our texts were something like, "I NEED YOUUUU, I CAN'T WAIT TO BE WITH YOUUUU, WAHHHHH!!!!" Funny how, in the days after, they sound exactly the same... But now we're saying "I miss you, I miss you, let's do this again soon."
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In line with this diary's ethos, I'm not overthinking anything. I'm just letting the words flow... So here's a bit about everything I've been up to! I'm proud to say that I've rekindled most all of my creative hobbies. Though I've yet to regain 100% daily consistency, I am writing, drawing, coding, and making music more than before!
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Let's try something new, shall we? This is the kind of diary I've been wanting to make for a while— the casual and comfortable sort, easy to write in from both a personal and technical perspective. Visually it's near identical to the previous edition but, behind the scenes, it's all markdown! Very convenient! And my ethos with this diary goes as follows...
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In 2021, I started writing an essay about my experience in the transgender community. I wanted to explore my attachment to the "nonbinary" label in a way that would resonate with people who went through similar things. I also intended to talk about why I dropped that label and embraced my femaleness... but I never finished the essay. Life got in the way, I guess. Still, I decided to publish it as-is, along with several other unfinished pages, when I left my old website behind.
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┳ CAUTION! ┳ This is a trauma narrative presented without further trigger warnings. — — — The lie I grew up believing is that I was better off dead. Or, more aptly, that everyone else would be better off if I died. But maybe dying isn't enough— maybe I should never have been born at all. It's been fifteen years since I first considered killing myself. I remember it like yesterday.
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Last month I had the best birthday of my whole life! Everyone showered me with gifts and kind words, so all day I felt nothing but happy and loved. Big big thanks to my princess for rallying every artist in our circle to draw Sans for me!!! And for sending a super thoughtful, extra glitterful package again this year.
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