2025.02.15

After I published my latest essay on feminism and gender, my guestbook overflowed with comments. Thank you all so much for the overwhelmingly positive response! I'm happy to be surrounded by women who also care about our rights, our health, our integrity, and our freedom. I hope that more and more of us will speak out. Some of your comments warrant longer responses so I'm going to reply to many of them here. But I don't dialogue with male creatures, especially not about feminism, so to all the self-identified "transwomen?" You're a waste of my time. If I respond to your comment at all, it's only to clarify things about myself and my own words that your silly little moid brains have misconstrued. Or to insult you. But you can wait at the back of the line. Right now the girls are talking.

Let's get started with maximum hostility.

Anonymous says:

You should probably at least read theory before declaring yourself any worldview. This is an issue I've noticed in too many RF spaces... Entry level views like "women are female" and "gender doesn't exist" does not a radical make.

Of all the people I've heard talking out of their asses, your farts are the most pretentious. You should probably at least understand what I wrote before you talk down to me. I literally said I do not "consider myself part of a real political group" (i.e. radical feminism), meaning I did the opposite of "declare [myself] any worldview." Soomeone asked me "what do you call yourself?" and instead of saying A or B, I wrote 200 words explaining my general outlook. I do not like labels! They are for soup cans!!! Political labels especially ick me out. In my eyes, they're reserved for people directly involved in their Real Life goverment and community. Yeah I'm Black and I speak up about racism, but I'm not an "anti-racist" or "Black rights activist" because you could not catch my ass at a sit-in.

"But you call yourself a feminist!" Yes, I do. It's one of my few exceptions, alongside misandrist/manhater; yumejoshi/Sanswife; writer/poet/lover of words; and "incidental nonconformist," because these behaviour patterns have informed my daily activities for years— if not my entire life thus far. I used to call myself a "shut-in" and "agorophobe" for the same reasons, but I no longer do that as my mental illness has loosened its chokehold over my life. Every other label I profess (i.e. Black, female, lesbian/homosexual) relates to something I just quite literally Am. Look at my body, my hair, the way I salivate over pussy— it's just how I Am. To me, they're not labels so much as basic descriptors.

I don't think anyone cares about such semantics. It's just nice to blab about myself, hah. The main point is that I did not and do not call myself a radfem. Unless/until I join in on organised radical feminist political action, I never will. I'm happy to use the general label "feminist" because the values I hold, the friends I keep, and the conversations I have in public and in private are all deeply intertwined with my wish for female liberation. This is a badge I wear with pride. I want to show how normal it is for women to advocate for themselves.

Also, it is very funny that you told me to read theory when you don't even understand the meaning of the name "radical feminism." "Radical" in this case does not mean "extreme," it means "ROOT," you fucking idiot. Like... fundamental? Core? Traced back to the start? Does any of that ring a bell from all the super advanced, high-level feminist books you have read and I have not? I'm sorry I'm too busy schlicking it to Sans x Reader harem fanfiction for Daly and Dworkin. I'll make sure to never ever have any opinions until I get my bookshelf personally approved by you, O' Anonymous, the smartest, most intelligent, truest and most well-read of us all. So smart you used up all your brain juice reading everybody's words but mine....

Goodbye Sunday wrote:

Well your website is super cute, obviously. As a self-diagnosed TIRF (trans inclusive radical feminist) but also a lover of nuance, I can semi-appreciate your comments, even if I don't necessarily agree with them. As long as there is no calls for violence or harassment on either side and each is respectful, I think a little nuance is needed.

Hi there, Emma! I've seen you around on Status.Cafe. Your new layout looks great. Thanks for the compliments on mine— I'm very proud of Vivarism so that means a lot!!!

I have to ask: which "trans people" are you including in your radical feminism? It's based on sex— all female people are included no matter their race, colour, creed, or belief in queer theory. The "exclusion" in ""TERF"" refers to correctly identifying so-called "transwomen" as penis-having, therefore not women, therefore part of the oppressor class. The class that has oppressed women since the dawn of time with rape and forced/coerced impregnation. It even predates humanity— there is sexual violence all over the animal kingdom. (If you think about that too hard, it's a major blackpill! So only think about it as hard as you can handle.)

A scrote's foremost concern is controlling reproduction, securing heirs, "filling his quiver with arrows." It's obvious why he aims to subjugate women. We are the ones with wombs, after all. And if impregnation is an afterthought, then his first is sadism. Power and control simply for the sake of it. Now they target women and girls because— factually— we are weaker than them, at least physically. We are doubly weakened by pregnancy, and made weaker still the heavier we get. There are things we can do to defend ourselves (shin to the balls, then run) but we're playing at an obvious disadvantage. Truly, that's what males have over women: physical capability. Size, strength, speed. I often joke that men are only good for lifting heavy things and I'm only half joking.

So in the case of sadism (physical, psychological, sexual, or otherwise), women and girls are the easiest targets. If you want to do evil, it's simply the path of least resistance, with the added bonus of potentially furthering your evil genes. This is what I'm talking about when I say our vulnerability is our femaleness. These things apply to female people, female bodies, and now that we Live In A (Patriarchal) Society, the female gender role. A penis-haver can perform femininity and, for various reasons, suffer for it, and maybe the other guys have bigger dicks and stronger muscles so he gets beat up more easily, but one thing he'll never, ever, ever be is pregnant.

This is what radical feminism is all about. This is the fundamental truth it asserts— or one of them, among others. One such assertion is that sexism is the oldest and most insidious of all the -isms, from which all other forms of oppression are borne. So yeah, within the radical feminist framework, whatever we call "transphobia" is rooted in the patriarchy, too. But at no point will it ever agree that "transmisogyny" is the same thing or as bad as actual misogyny, or that a man pretending to be a woman has any idea about how it is to be female.

I hope I'm not saying anything new here LOL but I just have to check. Based on a subsequent comment I assume you authored, I really do have to wonder.... That said, there is nothing stopping you or anyone for having empathy for the penis-people. I just won't be joining you in that because I believe it's pointless. Full stop. And if I'm wrong about that, at the very least it's a complete waste of my time. I am biased by my lesbianism and abuse history, but the facts and figures I share are not. Everything I write is substianted by things you, too, can witness for yourself.

As far as I can tell, the greatest threat to female class consciousness is ignorance— willful or otherwise. All I can ask of you, myself, and anyone is to make the most informed decisions we can.

Truth said:

I am neutral on whatever is going on here (I never knew people had beef on Neocities, for once) but I have to say that I don't like how a "certain group" tries to rope Black people into their struggle. Being trans is not comparable to being Black, and while I sympathize with the community, it is racist to insist that Black women are comparable to trans women and men. That's all I have to say.

I had a former friend who was abused by her mother and developed a complex about her gender. Had a typical "not like other girls" phase, we both did. I was able to address my trauma, but he (I will be respectful) came out as trans about two years ago despite never having dysmorphia as a kid and only dating men. Now theyre trans, ace, demisexual, bisexual, ace GNC, and im left very confused because my ex-friend used to always re-invent themselves and find labels to feel oppressed. I never had a space to say this but I just feel sad that my friend fell for the bullshit. They still use their very girly birth name and have not transitioned. They also claim to have the 'a' thingy, but they are just weird. And why can't we just be weird anymore? Why do we need labels for everything?

And I say: AMEN!!! Without rambling too much about human psychology, I think the evolutionary basis for labeling everything is the need to quickly assign yourself and others to certain tribes. "Is this the in-group or the out-group? Where am I safe? Who are my allies?" The problem is that women are in danger pretty much everywhere we go. Men within and without our groups (e.g. family, community, race, class, sexuality) abuse us just the same, and men from every group are equally misogynistic. It's very sad.

I think, specifically for women and girls, it's also a rebellion against being known as only a wife, mother, daughter. Our identities are reduced to our relationships with the oppressive class. We so badly need to be our own persons that sometimes we overcorrect. In the case of transgenderism (and other MOGAI crap) we think our labels are going to protect us from oppression, too. My heart goes out to your former friend. It sounds like she's had a very difficult life and, while looking for help, got roped into harmful communities, just like so many of us have.

Lastly, I'm grateful you've been able to address your trauma and I hope that everybody on this planet can do the same. I support women being weird. I want more of us to come out of the woodwork and embrace ourselves exactly as we are.

Painttube wrote:

please go look into the science of trans people and stop spreading lies (like about all trans people not being informed about the dangers of their treatment) or just admit you care more about your definition of woman than science.
do i think you deserve haressment? NO
do i think you get to tell lies about trans people free of constructive criticism? no.

Nuh uh, the burden of proof is on you, honey. Write your own blogpost. Prove to everyone that I "lied" about the "science of trans people." Do your own research, learn to discern credible studies from flimsy ones, and naturally conclude that there is NO justification for self-harm or -delusion. Scrap the blogpost. Burn your binder. Be free.

Also, I never said "all" trans-identified people are uninformed about the terrible things they do to themselves. My words were "many" and "most." Because it's true: some of you do harm yourselves willingly. Does that make it okay? From the very first slice, I knew it was wrong to cut myself, but I continued off-and-on for years. Self-awareness does not make your decision any less damaging to you or your sisters. It only makes me pity you even more.

some girl floating on the web ♡ said:

i've been on your site once before and I didnt really know anything about you until reading that essay and I have to say I found myself agreeing with a lot of your points, not all of them but a sizeable chunk spoke to me and my experiences with subsections of the community. As what some would call a cis women I've always had an odd relationship with the trans community as a sizeable chunk of my friends are some sort of trans/gnc but I had thoughts that directly opposed those my friends had (and lots, bc of them, that I agreed with). I just never say anything because well they're my friends and I love and respect them a lot. idk reading your essay was a bit freeing and I'm glad while you argued against smth you remained (in my eyes at least) respectful. as [someone else] earlier said nuance is awesomesauce and looking at things from both ends of the stick is good, thanks for giving me some food for thought and keep doing ur thing gurl

Good news: I will always be doing my thing! I've been like this since day one with no signs of stopping. And I believe very strongly in using my voice for the good of everyone.

Re: respecting your friends... that's just a sign of good character, I think. We should always be tactful and appropriate with the ones we love, and that includes having tactful, appropriate disagreements. For example, the person who helped me understand the truth about transgenderism started just by saying "I don't think 'top surgery' is right for everyone." (Without my condescending quotes, of course.) It's as cold and uncontroversial as a take can get, but it opened the door for a larger conversation about what a trans-identified person might do to their one and only body without ever admitting it's self-injurious.

I repeat, amputating your healthy breasts is not like like getting a haircut. It is not like getting a tattoo. It is not like getting an appendectomy. It is not like getting a nose job. Amputating your healthy breasts is discarding pieces of you like trash.

No part of your body is trash. Your body is not a collection of parts. Your body is you.

Do you have the free will to discard pieces of yourself like trash? Yes. Just like I have the free will to cut, burn, and beat myself whenever I decide I don't like myself, too. But anyone who cares about us will wonder why the fuck we'd want to do that! They'll try to stop us. They'll insist there is a better way— and there is. I no longer desire 'top surgery' nor do I hurt myself intentionally for any reason. When I feel uncomfortable with myself, my body, my femaleness, I know it's nothing wrong with me. I'm perfect as I am. It's our sexist culture that needs fixing.

The above paragraphs are partially in response to Birdwrongs, who wrote a blogpost about my blogpost. Before that, we'd talked a bit in Neocities comments and then I wrote a long text file. That text file is the basis for a larger essay— what this post was supposed to be, actually, but I got way more people in my guestbook than I anticipated. This post is so long already... Part two of the Feminist "Killjoy" series will have to wait til next time.

Anonymous wrote:

the sad part is i was gonna comment that your site looked really cute and that i wanted to add your button before i realized you were a terf and damn that really broke my heart because i cannot in good faith recommend a site that actively promotes bigotry against others, despite how pretty it looks. i pray that one day you become a better and more empathetic person than the one you are right now.

Pisses you off that someone outside your cult is such a fantastic web designer, doesn't it? Run back to your echo chamber to soothe that "broken heart," stat!!! But while you're still here, let's take a look at the bigotry I'm promoting.... Here's a quick summary of my hottest takes.

• Gender nonconformity is good
• Self-harm is bad
• People should not self-harm
• People should not encourage others to self-harm
• People should be well-informed about the effects of self-harm, especially at its extremes (e.g. amputation)
• People should deeply consider why they want to harm themselves
• People should reevaluate relationships with people who encouraged their self-harm
• Women are people
• You are a woman
• Pretending you are not a woman does not erase your femaleness
• You, me, all women, all of us female people— EVERY ONE OF US!— are under constant threat of male violence
• Male violence is wrong
• People should be informed about male violence

Did you even read the essay?

Somewhere in his rambles, a troid wrote: "hope ... that you unlearn some of the things that cause you more harm than good in the long run such as focusing on the things you hate too much."

Sir, you WISH I focused on you that much. Just like scrotefolk to read a long, impassioned essay about feminism and think, "hm, this woman is too negative." What's next? Gonna ask me to smile for you? However much time I spend focused on something I hate correlates directly to the real, human outrage it inspires. No wonder I'm most infuriated by the patriarchy. Its hold over humanity is as old as time. Male socialisation, too, has its unrelenting grip on you. Get out of my guestbook with your #NotAllMen bullshit. If any of you creatures cared about women, you would shut up and go work in a salt mine.

Hase, much more kindly, wrote in response to the troid:
(Line breaks and dividers added by me.)

As a TERF myself, I do wish more transwomen were like you. Unfortunately, the "loud vocal minority" isn't them. Sane or rational ones like you are not the majority and I would like to know why you think that you're the majority. When most anything on social media, public speakers, or even the public news is trans individuals who are not like you with this mentality at all. If your type of kinder transwoman was the majority, I would have never become a TERF or taken this term for myself. I wish most transwomen were of the mindset like you so we could have discussions or common ground, even if I don't personally view you as a woman on biological grounds. I still value you as a human being who simply wants peace with their body and mind in some way. Which I can respect and I would gladly respect pronouns, name, clothing, whatever you wanted, etc for you if you were the majority.

But trans people like you aren't the majority. If you were, why would TERFs be hated so vitriolic? Why would we have to hide and be "crypto" if people like you who are compassionate are a majority? Why are we even put through the charade of having to hide it? Because a majority of people will attack us, hate us, wish violence, and attempt to dox or life ruin. Are women not already suffering enough from patriarchy? Now I have other women hating me too? Including many transwomen who are supposed to be women apparently in the mind/body; yet their words against me, violent aggression in tone and writing, sexual harassing online still or acting perverted, and aggressive relentless behavior suggests male patriarchy within them to hurt me. They still display male-ness and deep hatred of women in their mind and behaviors despite saying they feel like they think/act/talk like a woman does. If they did, why do they still behave categorically male towards me?

I definitely do not hate all transwomen personally as a blanketed idea, at least the ones who are kind like yourself or show me decent respect. I always have respected these types of transwomen despite being a TERF because I know they're not acting like violent men towards me and they legitimately respect me as a fellow woman. So I am willing to be as understanding as I can be for them as a person. I know there are exceptions out there and I spent many years trying desperately to be tolerant about these ideas because I don't hate you by default and really do want you all to have peace, mental care, bodily rights, and human respect. I find it extremely difficult to find ones like yourself though. They hardly ever speak out or in a major way. I hardly ever see them defending women like myself who are not hateful to them and simply trying to exist inside this patriarchal hell we live in.

If you have friends and transwomen like yourself who really do think they're the majority voice and the minority is the problem... well all I can say is: please speak louder, be more forthcoming, write more online, create your own activism movements separately, make your own slogans, try to extend olive branches to TERFs like this, make yourselves the face of the online discourse. Transwomen like you need to be the face of this so called movement and the minority needs to be rightfully disowned as not representative. Because right now, they represent transwomen to most people due to their loudness, ill behaviors, and attacks on women. There is a reason why terfisaslur is a website that is rightfully disgusting. If they are the minority, I sure haven't seen transwomen like you pushing back against them inside threads when they act like that, comment sections telling them to stop or it's unproductive, blog articles encouraging them to stop, etc.

The problem is coming from within the trans communities themselves. You have to do housekeeping internally and weed out the bad actors and abusers as best you can, before you come to women and ask us to accept you. Because right now, I see a lot of men inside sheep's clothing pretending to be women in order to inflict more patriarchy against me using the term woman labeled on themselves as a shield for criticism. You have got to do something to oust them, denounce this, and weed them out as best you can. I cannot tell the difference between a nice transwomen like you or a violent woman hating one.

To me, you all are the "same." That's the problem. I just want to feel safe inside women's spaces without these bad actors of men who are faking something. That's all. I wouldn't even mind a transwoman around me if I could differ them from the bad actors. But I can't tell. It's better to be safe and exclude them, than to be sorry and end up abused. I am simply trying to protect myself, and as you know the common enemy is patriarchy and misogyny. I'm too scared they'll still act like a man with violence, aggression, sexual comments, and hate to me. At least when other cis women hate me, they don't get violent or sexually comment to me.

This same creature is spreading lies and misinformation about me. He said I am "using website ressources (sic) made by one of [his ilk] and labeling it as 'made by a man pretending to be a woman.'"

This is not true. How dare you make this assertion without having a one-on-one discussion with me or my supporters?! I can't believe you are parroting violent abusive rhetoric made up by the Flonnephobes, who are only a small but very vocal minority of Vivarism Superfans.

The truth is that, on my old "explore" page, I link to a software called Stimuwrite, a tiny Godot-based word processor developed by a man calling himself "Eve Harms." I enjoy Stimuwrite. It gets the job done. But I wanted everyone who found the software through my page to know that Mr. Harms is not a based woman in STEM helping out her AuDHD girlies; he's a scrote writing violent erotica. It seems the victims in his works are primarily male, not women, so I don't care that much about the contents. He could be writing the most boring tech-related whitepapers and I'd still think he was a freak for doing it in a woman costume.

Full disclosure: I'm one of those "fiction is just fiction" people, but only for real authors and creators— not penis-havers. Unlike their male peers, girls mature into adults capable of critical thinking and empathy. I won't digress into crime statistics, but I will point out that sex offenders legally identifying themselves as women creates problems with those statistics. As a further aside: I'm begging you and everyone to read Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Perez. Life changing shit.

In messages where he typed like a little girl, another scrote accused me of "abandoning" vivarism. You know, "filling, full, lively, lovely" living for everyone. Let me tell you all a secret. When I write about "everyone," "all people," "human beings" ... that never includes males. They're subhuman. Thoughout these posts I've been writing "penis-haver" specifically because it is dehumanising and insulting. "Penis-people" would be more fun and alliterative, but I don't want to imply these things are actual people. They're not. They're stupid, ugly goblins who ruin everything. I'd tolerate moidfolk more if not all of them were rapists, porn addicts, and aspiring child molesters. But they are. If even Gandhi was a rapist, where does that leave us?

Sometimes I jokingly discuss which men I'd save from the androcide, but the answer is actually "none." All of them can fucking die. Don't even waste your time torturing them first— that's boring. Wasteful. Maybe put them in work/death camps if you need labour that badly. But there's nothing they can do that women can't, and none of them can do it backwards and in high heels.

If this is too extreme for you: good. I know EXACTLY how it sounds. This IS what I really think. Judge me all you want, but I have no incentive to change. Like, hello, I'm a lesbian? Scrotes are fundamentally useless to me. I'm blessed to never desire— and ultimately be disappointed by— relationships with them. I am so apathetic about their existence that I would hardly notice if they all stopped breathing.

The only thing I'd gain from "toning this down" is wider acceptance from women, particularly the ones who still daydream about "the good ones." You're welcome to daydream. I'm a dreamer, myself. I dream of a world with only women in it.

For what it's worth, I already live in this world and I love it so much. Day in and day out, I'm surrounded by funny, passionate, insightful, creative, adorable, and adoring women. My family, my friends, my role models, my clients, the characters in and creators of my favourite works, the voices in my ears... They're all women. People who embrace femaleness: mine, theirs, everyone's. I don't actually know anyone who has this exact same #KAM lesbian-misandrist mindset, at least not at this same intensity or for the same (homosexual) reasons. Many of my friends never discuss feminist topics with me, either; we bond over creative hobbies instead. But the ones who know how I am accept me as I am. And those who don't know... well, these blogposts have been your opportunity to find out.

As I said, I accept your judgement. In our personal lives, I believe in only engaging with the people and ideas we want to engage with. If that means you need to close the tab and block me everywhere, then please do so. The same applies to people who don't even know me. If you're not ready to hear what I have to say (meaning, my more "grounded" takes), then just leave. I've already planted the seeds of doubt and that's all I needed to do.

Anyways. Total 180 now. Glaucus, an intersex person, left a very long comment about the plight of her community. I've reproduced it here in full, including the comments underneath, with dividers added for easier reading. Again, I don't have much to say. I figure it's best to let her speak for herself, without interrupting, except to clarify my intentions at one point.

Read more.

So, first of all - your site is so cute and well put together! Good job! I really like the usage of colour, in particular. Your self-mascot OC is also really charming - it's refreshing to just see a standardly cute black girl enjoying life, since I was pretty deprived of that growing up!

That aside, I have a few comments about your recent post's stance on intersex people. For full disclosure, I am intersex myself, complete with the tragedy of a doctor violating my body as an infant to correct it - not because I would die otherwise, but because to them my body was wrong. These were surgeries that for anyone else would have been considered elective for an adult and a horrific act of medical malpractice for an infant, but for me? In their eyes, growing up with the body I had would have been so traumatic I was better off undergoing a procedure likely to kill me outright, and having this fact hidden from me even when I grew up and experienced trauma for being different anyway without even knowing what was "wrong" with me. If I wasn't lucky, I'd have experienced osteoporosis at the age of 30 and it would've been only then there was even a chance I'd have known what the problem was. None of these interventions "fixed" me, they just hid what I was so nobody had to think about it. I am not alone in this. This is the experience of millions of people living now. There are likely children being born this very day that are being prepped for this exact experience.

I think it's a wonderful thing you've done, thinking about yourself and your relationship to womanhood! It is genuinely heartening that you had the room and freedom to think about yourself and come to the decision that yes, you are a woman and you are sticking by that. It's a beautiful thing to be able to make that choice. Many people in this world do not get to, me included. My life has been a constant struggle of being forced both socially and medically into a box that I am simultaneously told I will never really fit into because I have the right chromosomes but the wrong equipment, and somehow people with the wrong equipment but right chromosomes don't fit either! A box which I never even got to consider freely - how could I, when I have scars that remind me what I ought to be? Not the scars non-intersex cis people have, which saved their lives. Nor the scars non-intersex trans people have, which they chose. I bear the mark of a decision made for me on the basis that people are born two ways - male or female. Any variation is an aberration to be corrected. Any deviancy is to be corrected, regardless of the person's emotional or even physical reality. I am wrong, not because of anything I believe, but because I should not be proud of my body the way anyone else gets to be. That is the life I've lived, as an intersex person, enforced stringently at every level of society.

Now, I and the rest of the intersex community have my own share of problems with trans people, and you elided them well enough in your essay. I can't help but notice, though, that you brought up these issues...entirely to get mad at trans people? In complaining that they co-opt our language (they do!) to describe themselves, you are using us intersex people the exact same way that they do, as a rhetorical device to prove why your opponents are wrong.

And then you dismiss us. Completely and totally. We're rare. We don't matter. We don't have to be considered. Our reality says nothing about how people can be, because it's a fringe medical condition.

At least when non-intersex trans people do this, the worst thing they want is to do to us is be us. All non-trans non-intersex people want to erase us. They want to pretend we don't exist, because our existence is too complicated. It is still legal in most of the world to operate on an intersex infant or child without even parental consent. Until the early 00s, this nonconsensual and uninformed "fixing" was standard procedure everywhere. Only eight countries have fully banned intersex infant surgeries.

And wouldn't you know it? These countries (Brazil, Spain, Portugal, Greece, Germany, Austria, Chile and Iceland) also happen to have some of the best track records around when it comes to trans people, too. Because even when they forget about us when we aren't useful to them, they are still fighting for us. Even when they don't mean to, because the things they want - a right to sexual autonomy and informed consent and to be supported in your choices no matter what it has been decided your body should be - these are things all intersex advocates also fight for. The treatments they seek are ones that intersex people need, the injustices they fight against are the frameworks that are used to punish us for the crime of having been born, and the legal recognitions they want also apply to us.

And in the US, we've seen what happens when non-intersex people pretend we don't exist or are too rare to be worth consideration. The X gender marker on the US passport, won as a result of a court case by an intersex servicemember with a mixed reproductive system who felt legally unable to choose M or F, has been removed. This was done to hurt trans people, but it hurts us more than anything. In order to hurt trans people, male and female have been strictly defined - and countless intersex people, including myself, no longer even legally exist in the eyes of the federal government.

Throughout the world, because of medical discrimination focused on ensuring nobody ever steps outside of the two boxes presented to them, intersex people struggle to get care they need to live, or to even choose how they live even if that choice is to be the very thing they were assigned - try being an intersex woman with an undescended testicle or an intersex man with a uterus and see how any attempt to bring this up to doctors is treated as frivolous delusion! Imagine being an intersex child who has decided they want to be closer to what is traditionally considered to be male or female. Well, guess what - no gender affirming care for them, because almost every treatment for intersex people is gender affirming care!

None of this is incidental. Even when it's a case of splash damage due to attacks on trans people, it is intentional that we are also hurt. Even when we are not thought of, it is intentional that we are also hurt. We are wrong, because our existence defies the received wisdom that people are born male or they are born female. We are minimized because it is thought that we can be corrected into having been retroactively born male or female. We never get to truly be men or women, even when we so desperately want to be, even when that's what we were told we were and forced to be, because to be a man is to be male and to be a woman is to be female, and male and female are so spuriously-yet-strictly defined that no definition leaves room for us to exist as we are - only as people want us to be.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say through all of this is that I think you really do have a good heart. I think you are ultimately a kind young woman who's just trying to make sense of a world that is terrifying and hostile. Many of us are, these days! I'd ask that you spread some of that kindness and actually consider us, rare as we might be, when you talk about us. Or when you talk about things that affect us, even if you think they only affect trans people. Don't look away from us, don't dismiss us as a medical curiosity, don't say you don't know about us so you don't have any comments or opinions, because the things you are saying and promoting cause us so much harm! Please actually learn about us, and please keep us in your thoughts. Fight because you want to help people who are in pain, not because you want to hurt those who have hurt you. Thank you.

To this I say: thank you, Glaucus, for taking the time to write all of this and sharing so much about yourself. I'm not commenting further because as I previously said and you have further proven, I'm ignorant. The only point upon which I care to elaborate is this:

You brought up [the issue of the trans community co-opting language from the intersex community]... entirely to get mad at trans people?

I brought it up because it was the only relevant idea I could confidently speak to. In my mind, that was better than nothing. ("Does 2 + 2 = 5?" "I dunno, but 1 + 1 = 2. Maybe that can get you started.") You said yourself that you agree with that specific point I made, so I don't see the harm here. Everything I got mad about afterwards (racism, basically) was tangential. My mind naturally wandered to things that I'm well aware of, so I talked about those things instead. It's not personal.

Now, onto the rest of the conversation had by visitors to my guestbook.

secret ╂ wrote:

not trying to be an ass, but i reread the section on intersex people multiple times and i dont see where the "dismissing" is? she talks about intersex people for several paragraphs, and their overlap with the trans experience and she disagrees with people with a birth defect being lumped in with people with a mental illness telling them their body is wrong.. the fact is the essay is about transgender ideology and not intersex people so any "dismissal" is just, moving on to talk about what the essay is primarily about...

Glaucus responded:

Don't worry, you're not coming off as an ass at all!

To clarify, dismissiveness that I'm reading is in the mention of our struggles with trans people to win a rhetorical point against them without really understanding why we have those struggles. In response to "how do you feel about intersex people", she says that she doesn't know enough to have an opinion. That's fair! She says that trans people do things to hurt us. That's true, but why is this her opinion to hold when she's admitted she doesn't know anything about us? And then she says that we are rarities who's bodies cannot possibly inform anyone's view of sex. This rhetoric is actively used by bad actors to dismiss both our rights and medical concerns every day. We exist as a rarity, not considered relevant to any conversation we're brought up in, even as what people are discussing is rhetoric used to diminish our bodily and sexual autonomy.

I'm not really asking for there to be a whole dissertation about the plight of intersex individuals, but I do think that if we are to be mentioned in a conversation, we actually be talked about beyond the opportunity to point out the follies of an ideological opponent, with actual consideration for us as people and the systemic issues we face. And if that's not possible...then just leave us out of it. Say "I don't know enough" and move on. Don't make us a talking point.

Replying to Glaucus' initial comment, Anonymous wrote:

Im not Flonne so Ill try to keep this short, but let me ask this. You being intersex is a definitive reality, your body shows this as it does not align nor have characteristics of the 2 "boxes of sex". Now what is the case to someone who does not show these altering characteristics but identifies themselves of the opposite sex/differing sex from the "box" they best align with solely because they felt like it, or have insecurity and hatred for the body theyre in. You mentioned intersex healthcare gets affected if gender affirming healthcare receives repercussion, though that begs the question; Why are these resources being given to patients who do not exhibit these traits of being intersex (remember gender dysphoria is no longer classified as a mental illness and is not a prerequisite to identifying as transgender) and are taking resources from intersex people who are actually facing medical complications due to their condition.

How would you feel about an able bodied person choosing one day they would rather navigate on a power chair simply because its "more convenient" and "easier on their body" when they are fully capable of walking, even if it requires aids such as a crutch or brace to help assist them in doing so. What about the people who have no choice in using a power chair? Who cannot walk, or cannot walk for extended periods of time no matter how much they wish to do so. That power chair is now going to someone who simply doesnt feel like walking rather than someone who cannot choose whether they want to walk or not walk that day.

Glaucus replied, saying:

Well, what gender affirming resources are being given to patients without intersex conditions? Hormones of all stripes are by a wide margin mostly used by non-intersex non-trans individuals, so there's one. Where there are issues with receiving them it is never a case of there not being enough for us, but always a case of simply being denied care because it is determined we do not need it. There was a (now-resolved) shortage of one specific US brand of estrogen because the pharmacy that produced it shut down due to supply chain issues caused by COVID-19, but that's about it. Access to testosterone is restricted, not by supply, but because in many places it is considered a controlled substance and so it's hard for even non-intersex non-trans men (again, its biggest consumers) to get ahold of it despite the large supply. Anti-androgens are diverse and plentiful and cheap, as is progesterone.

There is perhaps a better point to be made about non-pharmaceutical resources such as procedures like hair removal or various surgeries. For the former, again - these are overwhelmingly utilized by non-intersex and non-trans individuals, and the only "supply" issue is scheduling, but providers are common enough that this is rarely a barrier and when it is it isn't because a trans person took someone's spot. For the latter, well - in those cases, yes, trans people are the primary beneficiaries of...exactly two of them those being phalloplasty and vaginoplasty. The rest (things such as breast augmentation/reduction or masectomies or orchiectomies or etc.) are performed overwhelmingly on people who are neither intersex nor trans for both cosmetic and medical reasons. But it is because of that very fact that anyone even cared to practice these techniques on anything other than infants, so I suppose I'm too busy being glad that I even have access to surgeons who know how to reverse the mutilation performed on me as an infant to care that I may have to wait a few extra months to book my own surgery. And I am much more worried about the effect on my access to care that arguments that these surgeries (and all others that would help intersex people live their lives or at least return them to how they were actually born) are unnecessary, barbaric, and cruel have provably had.

To your last point, I am not wheelchair bound, so per the stance highlighted in my response to Flonne, I am not going to comment on or speculate on how someone with such a disability might feel about an able bodied person using something made for them. I will note, however, that non-disabled people can and do acquire mobility aids like...all the time? You can just buy one on the internet now. To my knowledge, as someone who works in the medical industry with suppliers of medical equipment, there is not a shortage of power chairs (or their parts!) as a result. I'd have a lot less work to do if so...

The same anonymous poster replied one last time with the following:

Im well aware you can simply up and buy a wheelchair/mobility aids at any given point, its why I dont like using metaphors in discussion since theres obviously going to be disparities in the logic when you think about it past the metaphor (think the "define a chair" excerpt), though its great to hear that technological equipment are accessible in your region; I also work in primary healthcare however we're in the backwaters so advanced mobility aids usually need to be shipped in advance from the nearest city, though this is a tangent unrelated to the convo xPP

I respect your acknowledgement to not comment on the topic of the matter, so I will respect your opinion regarding intersex topics as well and drop it since I am not knowledgeable enough to make a thoughtful response. I hope I didnt come across as malicious in my initial post, I really am curious on the perspective on self-IDing/self-diagnosis has on healthcare and the ethics of handling these situations, they are dilemmas i have to face in the workplace pretty often after all.

... and now the blogpost is over. Sigh. OMG I'm so tired and my feet are so cold, I want to go to bed soon. I think I'll curl up and write about Sans until I sleep... I have so many WIPs for my yume section and they're all coming along great. It's very exciting and fun.

If you commented in my guestbook about things unrelated to this topic, or I only had a short reply for you, then you can find my comment under yours, on the homepage, where they belong......