Disclaimer: this is a little less than half of the questions in this section. I'll publish the rest next week, on November 1st!
Do you celebrate his birthday?
Sans doesn't have an official birthday, so I made one up for him: April 1st, 1987.
Why this date? Well, first of all, it's April Fool's day, a holiday dedicated to the pranks and tricks he loves so much. And 1 is Sans's significant number (like how Chara's number is 9), so being born on the first day of the month is very fitting for him.
That's how I chose his birth time, too: 13:10— ten past one in the afternoon. The digits in 13 add up to 4, and 1+0 adds up to 1, so it's kinda like his birthdate all over again, hehe!! Another time loop for my beloved to be trapped in~
Secondly, when deciding on the date, I mistakenly believed that Comic Sans (the font) was published on April 1st. Actually, it was bundled with the Windows 95 OS, which came out on the 24th of August, 1995. The April Fools release date was for Comic Sans Pro, an updated version of the font created some 15 years later.
If you like, you can read more about the history of Comic Sans in this Academic Accelerator article. Facsinating stuff!
The year 1987 was chosen to create a nice age difference between him and his brother. Assuming Papyrus, AKA "CoolSkeleton95," was born in 1995, that would make Sans ~8 years his senior. It seems like a big enough gap where Sans could realistically raise him as a babybones.
Of course, it makes our age gap even more prominent... He's 13 years older than me!!! I'd never go for something like this IRL, but with him I like it like this ─ We met when I was 15 and he was 28. If he were to be frozen in time at UNDERTALE's release date, he'd be 28 forever. I like the idea of him ageing alongside me, though. I'd get sad if one day I had to be older than him!
I also like how the digits of 1987 have a difference of just 1. Like 7 is one less than 8, 8 is one less than 9. I'm totally pleased with this birthday and I wouldn't even think of changing it. I want to celebrate it more!!! But honestly, I'm really bad at stuff like that ┌ Perhaps when I'm healed from my depression, I'll be more proactive. Filling out this questionnaire for our 3rd anniversary already feels like a huge step forward for me!
What would you get him for his birthday?
I want to take him out to do something fun with all of our friends and family!
We could go to a planetarium or a space museum, or some other kind of science expo. I'd plan well in advance to arrange a meeting between him and whoever he admires there. I'd also love to go kart racing, or to a concert, or even on a cruise. Whatever it is, it's gotta be big and showy, the sort of thing that you have to save up for. I want to make him feel totally cherished and loved on his special day.
Would you have any birthday traditions?
Yes! All in the name of making each other laugh.
We'd always give each other an over-the-top card— think glitter, music, and pop-ups— intended for the wrong age or relationship. The more innacurate the better. I'm not sure what the insides of these cards are like, but here's an idea of what I mean...
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Would he like a party, or something more intimate?
A party for sure!
I'm throwing him a surprise party that he's aware of the entire time. It's not necessarily because I suck at keeping secrets. Sans just has a way of knowing things he shouldn't! He is very, very intelligent, highly observant, and he can read people so lightning fast that you might think he's a telepath. But he isn't! He's just a normal guy!
Basically, there's no point in trying to hide anything from him. I know that he knows about his party, and he knows that I know he knows, and we just carry on as if everything is totally normal, albeit with a layer of coyness and irony. When the fateful day arrives, and everyone pops out from behind the sofa with confetti and balloons, Sans jokes about how "surprised" he is. (He's also prepared some way to prank us all back.) His grin is genuine, though.
Really, it doesn't matter if he knows about the party ahead of time. For him the real surprise is that he gets to spend the whole day laughing and dancing and eating delicious food with all his favourite people. Sans endured a lot of loneliness and grief to get here. On a night like this, where everyone has gathered just to celebrate his life, he's glad he was born. I give him a hug and a kiss and a very silly card, and he tells me he's glad I was born, too │
Are you astrologically compatible?
According to The Pattern, we're literally soulmates.
I have a "maturing influence" on Sans. He steps up to take good care of me, helping him become his best self. In return, he "encourages and inspires me to grow." I feel good in his presence and his loving attention raises my self-esteem. We communicate easily and get along well, probably because we're both so empathetic. We naturally "get and respect each other's point of view." The Pattern even says we have "one of the most fortunate and enjoyable connections you can have with soemone!"
Here's my favourite excerpt from the synastry report...
On your best days as a couple, Sans feels alive with you— you're exciting, provacative, and you turn him on. He can ride these thrills with you without things feeling too extreme. There's a depth and complexity to your connection. This energy may be stronger than anything Sans has experienced before. He may have a sense of feeling out of control and entering the unknown, but in a thrilling way. It's like he's not sure what's going to happen with you.
It fits perfectly with our personalities and the progression of our relationship, as well as how I really want things to be. I love that I can catch him off guard without even meaning to. I love that he leans into it because he'd rather brave the unknown than risk losing me. I love that I still get to feel safe, cherished, and secure despite it all.
Clearly, we're meant to be! I didn't even have to try different birthdates to get a good result! All the more reason to be perfectly pleased with April 1st, 1987, right?
What does your ideal holiday with husbando look like?
I want to be all alone with him in a cozy cottage in a sleepy, seaside town.
We'll eat delicious meals at the local restaurants, stroll along the beach and through botanical gardens, and just have fun talking and laughing. I want all his attention on me!
I would also love to ride one of those luxury sleeper trains across Europe. I don't even care that much about getting off the train to see the local sights. I just want to watch the beautiful scenery roll by as the train car rocks me to sleep in Sans's arms...
Does he prefer the beach or the mountains?
The beach!
We'll lounge by the sea, eating ice cream, enjoying the breeze. Maybe I'll bury Sans in the sand, making him into Sansd. Sands? Hmmm... hahaha. In contrast, "mountains" mean hiking... No thanks! Both me and Sans would much rather sit in one place.
What is his preferred method of travel? (e.g. train, plane, boat)
I mean... it's Sans. Does he even travel? It's more like he just appears.
I don't think there is a real answer to this question, but I'll just say he likes driving because it's convenient.
Would he act different while on vacation?
I'm not sure Sans could be any more chilled out than he usually is... so no.
Myabe he'd be more adventurous, though. He's the kind of guy who eats the same foods over and over, frequents the same places again and again. On vacation, there are countless opportunities to try new things. I'd love to eat exotic foods and do gimmicky, tourist-y things together.
How would you spend Valentine's Day with him?
Hmm, nothing special. We're not the kind of couple who needs a holiday to be lovey-dovey.
Some couples are really busy, so holidays are the only time they spend together, but Sans and I are joined at the hip 24/7. He's always surprising me with gifts and favours, and silent but meaningful stares full of deep, romantic devotion. I really don't need anything extra from him— nor does he from me! Maybe I'll draw him a card, or we'll splurge on a huge meal, or he'll come up with something I can't possibly anticipate...
Most likely it'll just be a night in: N*tflix and chill. So chill we literally fall asleep!!!
How does he feel about the holiday? Is he cynical, supportive, etc.?
He's opportunistic.
Once Valentine's Day has passed and they slash all the prices, Sans brings home a bunch of candy and gifts. He calls it Valentwo's Day— the first Tuesday after everything goes on sale.
Pick out a cheesy Valentine's themed item to gift each other.
Okay, can I derail for a second?
While brainstorming, I searched "what NOT to get her for Valentine's day" and happened upon one of those obviously AI-generated "top 20" lists. It starts off strong with "nothing" as the absolute worst gift! Then advises you to choose any other day to break up, and avoid cheap, generic, and/or poorly-sized gifts. Also don't give her... dental hygiene products? Don't give her a trash can?? Or a vacuum cleaner?????
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The toilet seat takes the cake though. I laughed for at least a full minute. That's why next year I'm giving Sans this beautiful,
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hand-made toilet seat cover so he'll remember who cherishes him when it really counts. (Monster food is made of pure magic so nobody poops, but Sans seems like the kind of guy who would sit around pretending to take a dump just to avoid something he doesn't want to do.)What would his costume be on Halloween?
Sans's costumes range from "the same outfit he had on all day" to "low effort, sheet ghost tier," to "slightly higher effort, but only to make a bad joke."
One time I saw fanart of him dressed up in a suit with the word "sorry" pinned to his shirt... He was a formal apology. Are you rolling your eyes yet? That is what Sans has in store for you on this Hallow's Eve. He wouldn't want to have an extravagant costume in the first place, but even if he did, he'd prefer to help someone he loves make the costume of their dreams instead. That'd be way more rewarding for him!
I think I could rope him into couple's costumes, though, especially if they're super lame. He thinks I'm cute no matter what I wear, and he's always spoiling me, so as long as it's easy enough to wear, he's gonna go along with whatever I ask. I really, really want him to dress up as Baldi from Baldi's Basics and chase me around with a ruler. The sudden tonal shift in that game reminds me so much of Sans... BASICALLY (wink) what I'm saying is, Baldi girls? I get it.
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I don't think I'd ever dress as a pumpkin, but Goki definitely looks cute like this, hehehe.
Are you two going trick-or-treating?
Probably not. I'm too shy and, following the labour theory of value, it's cheaper to just buy the candy you want instead of trying to find strangers who will give it to you for free.
(That's a direct quote from Sans as he fills our shopping cart with those orange Kitkats I like.)
Does he prefer tricks or treats?
Ahh, it's impossible to choose!
Sans is a prank master who loves to eat... Take away one or the other and you're left with only half a skeleton. I think he'd do both at once. He startles you (and laughs in your face) then, as an apology, gives you something sweet!
What is his favourite type of candy?
He likes things that are crunchy and easy to eat, like chocolate-covered pretzels.
I tried to imagine Sans holding a hard candy in his mouth, waiting for it to dissolve, and I just couldn't... He'd only have something like that on his tongue if I passed it directly to him with mine. And then he'd be passing it back to me, but pulling it away at the last second, until I'm whining right into his mouth like what the fuck, we're never having a sugary makeout again. He's trying to hold back a laugh, but he's patting my back in apology. I think finally, I want my Jolly Rancher! And Sans fucking swallows it whole.
So. Yeah. No hard candies, and I don't think he's a gummy candy kinda guy, either. I want to get him candy bars with nuts in them and sour jelly beans and stuff.
How would he feel about scary movies?
He likes them! He's not scared at all.
I can definitely see Sans being a sci-fi fan who leans more towards thrillers and speculative horror. He enjoys the tension and suspense, and he's always curious to see if a story can give him a genuine shock. I like scary stuff, too, but I can be sensitive sometimes. Sans knows when to cover my eyes and when to turn off the TV, and how to convince me that the naked cult members from Hereditary (2018) are not lurking in my doorway.
hand-made toilet seat cover so he'll remember who cherishes him when it really counts. (Monster food is made of pure magic so nobody poops, but Sans seems like the kind of guy who would sit around pretending to take a dump just to avoid something he doesn't want to do.)
